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I just got off the phone with a previous client who told me they took their teenager’s video game console out of the house from Monday to Friday. There’s no data plan on his phone, and a parental block limits WiFi use to two hours a day. He can’t hide in his room playing games anymore.
Within a month, that young person reconnected with friends, started leaving the house, and got active again. The parent said, “It’s like he’s being a real teenage boy again.”
What’s the quality of their engagement with other people?
How often do you see teens with their faces buried in their phones or glued to TV screens?
Never mind my strong opinions about video games, apps, and the garbage content that comes with them. Let’s focus on something deeper — the biology of dysfunction and how screen time feeds it.
Your brain and nervous system generate your thoughts, drive your emotions, and control how you experience life. We don’t think as freely as we believe. Most of what we think and feel is simply our biology reacting to what’s been programmed into our systems.
When a young person becomes troubled, anxious, addicted, or unmotivated, it isn’t bad luck or “this generation’s music.” It’s because their brain and nervous system aren’t happy.
When those systems stop working properly, they can’t create the natural chemicals that help a teen feel good while sober. That’s when many turn to drugs, alcohol, or other escapes.
Treat the biological brain and nervous system — treat that young person’s life.
Harm the biological brain and nervous system — harm that young person’s life.
Every drug-using, mentally ill, unmotivated, or troubled teen I’ve ever met had a damaged brain and nervous system.
If we want to heal our young people, we must start by healing the biology that drives their behavior.
I am not confused as to why our teens are facing the problems they do today. Mental illness, cutting and self harm, teen suicide, lethargy, drug addiction, inability to move out and pursue goals ambitiously, etc….
There are of course plenty of awful factors in our youth culture today contributing to this crisis, however, screen time is one of them.
Screen time is awful, screen time is ruining our children.
You, the parent, have the cure. It’s entirely within your control to give your child a real life and a real childhood — and I believe you can do it.
You can limit video games and screen time in your home. There are many simple ways to do this:
Install software on everyone’s phones that limits usage per day.
Use a modem with built-in hourly controls.
Write out a paper contract for screen rules and post it on the wall.
Collect all phones and tablets by 8:30 p.m., and make mornings screen-free until 8 a.m. Replace that time with books, family TV, or real conversation.
Some families only allow phones from 3 to 6 p.m. each day.
And here’s the big one: use your authority. It’s not outdated; it’s essential. Firm parental leadership prevents the kind of dysfunction and addiction we’re seeing in so many young people today.
Many parents are already doing this — and their kids are thriving. These are the teenagers skipping grades, starting businesses, earning scholarships, and saving thousands before they’re even 18.
I’ve seen teens with $4,000 to $10,000 saved from their jobs. One 17-year-old girl in Red Deer paid for her own year-long mission trip — a $10,000 expense — and is now saving to buy her own car.
How would it feel to see your teenager buy a car with their own money?
How would it feel to know your teen saved $10,000 through their own effort?
Wouldn’t it feel like, as a parent, you were truly getting something right?
Dramatically reduce screen time. Put your teen on a screen-time budget and reintroduce them to the real world. You’ll see the difference faster than you expect.
I will respond, and share with you what other parents have done to fix that.