10. Open more than one present before Xmas morning.

• Instead:  Make them wait. Instilled patience before reward is 1 of 5  precursors for adult success in life according to a landmark study done in 1965.  Also very popular trait to teach recovering addicts while in treatment.

9. Let your child verbally tell you their wish list.

•  Instead: They can write it down and do the work that is required for results. Do you want to teach them short cuts pay off without putting in any meaningful work?  

8. Make a new years resolution:

• Why? Because you will fail, and your child is role modelling you. New Years resolutions mostly fail for everybody. 
• Instead: Make meaningful goal setting plans on paper, executed methodically over the year, with results tracked on paper works great though.  Do that with your teenager or young adult child instead. Your child will still role model you.

7. Buy video games that simulate real life for your children
(role-playing games with violence)

• Why? Flat out not good for your children. Uses 1/3 of the brain to execute an activity that uses all 3/3 of the brain and is really over stimulating.
• Instead: Buy them a physical activity item, skiis, balls, and membership to Karate. Then go skiing with them, throw the ball, train together, and bond.  If you must, just buy one game like car racing games or non-life simulation.  Treatment centers have learned that removing modern video games from recovering addicts significantly improves their behaviors and recovery.  It’s likely lack of video games will make your child more resilient to addiction.

6. Drink in front of your teenager or young adult.

• Instead: Offer them a drink, be cool for a change. Cool parents will always have a teen bonded to them that will come to them with any problems.  Unless your child doesn’t drink on principle, in that case, make spicy hot drinks, and you both can pretend to drink together.

5. Point out that if your children do better at school Santa will be nicer to them at XMAS.

• Why? Other times of year then YES, but not at XMAS. This time of year is hyper-focus on family and should communicate that no matter what the child has your acceptance.
• Instead: 3 times/day acknowledge something likeable about them. Handsome? Shoulders look broad in that sweater? Hair looks pretty? Affable sense of humor?

4. Bend over backwards to be with estranged young adult
children (who might be on the streets using drugs):

•  Instead: Be where it’s comfortable and others can enjoy you because your relaxed. Tell your estranged adult child you can’t make it, you will take XMAS where you feel like it, you have other people in your life, and they can join you if they can make it happen or are welcome. 
• Then put aside 2 meaningful hours to talk to them on the phone in utter privacy and silence and ask them about their year.

3. Visit too many friends and family.

•  Instead: Be present to your children in your home, where they need you. You can’t be hectic and present at the same time. You got all year to visit the rest of earth, go do it during the year.

2. Buy young children too many presents that they can use by themselves.

•  Why: It’s evidence you want them in another room playing without you.
• Instead: Buy at least one present that requires time with you. 2 Movie passes, dinner for two, 2 nerf guns so you can shoot each other, passes to a trampoline park for 2, tea set for 2 so you can sit down with your daughter for a tea party. The closer your young children are to you, the less likely they will be on the streets later.